The following is a true story that occurred on January 7, 2003, at precisely 11 AM.
“Good morning. I’m here for my appointment.”
“The doctor is running about ten minutes behind schedule,” replies the receptionist, “have a seat please.” The magazines in the rack are six months old. In walks a two piece pants suit in high heels towing a rolling black suitcase behind her.
“And how are you? How was the response to our new product?”
“Fabulous,” replies the receptionist. “We’re cleaned out. I’ll take all you have.”
“Okay,” replies pants suit, who proceeds to pile small boxes on the counter in front of the slide through window. Pants suit removes a small hand held devise from her waist and taps in some numbers. She then gives the device to the receptionist who signs it and returns it to pants suit.
“Here is a present for the doctor that will make his life easier,” says pants suit. “It’s a pad with the doctor’s name imprinted on it along with the prescription. All he has to do is sign it and give it to the patient. Also, I’m looking around your waiting room and I see you have some space for a display. Can I set one up with some info?”
“Sure,” replies the receptionist. Pants suit pulls out a small plastic stand from her suitcase, places it on one of the end tables, and fills it with brochures. She turns and says to me. “This is a fabulous product; would you like to read about it?”
“What is it?” I reply. The name tag on the front of her jacket says “Bayer Pharmaceutical Company.” [Please Note: I despise pharmaceutical drug pushers.]
“It’s Levitra”, she whispers, “which is far more superior and long lasting than Viagra for erectile dysfunction.”
“That’s great!” I reply, taking the brochure and immediately read aloud in a strong voice the small print on the bottom of the back page making certain everyone in the waiting room can hear me.
“Warning: LEVITRA is for use by prescription only. Men taking nitrate drugs, often used to control chest pain (also known as angina), should not take LEVITRA. Men who use alpha-blockers, sometimes prescribed for high blood pressure or prostate problems, also should not take LEVITRA. Such combinations could cause blood pressure to drop to an unsafe level. The most commonly reported side effects are headache, flushing, and stuffy or runny nose. You should not take LEVITRA if your doctor determines that sexual activity poses a health risk for you. LEVITRA does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Men who experience an erection for more than four hours should seek immediate medical attention.”
“May I have your phone number?” I ask pants suit.
“Why?” she replies.
“Because if my erection lasts for more than four hours I would like to call you. Hopefully you could come over and lend me a hand.”
The other patients in the waiting room begin laughing hysterically including the receptionist behind the counter. Pants suit’s face turns brick red. She grits her teeth and walks out of the waiting room with her suitcase full of poison rolling behind her.
12 Noon: I am now second in line at the pharmacy counter. The gentleman in front of me is at least seventy years young.
“May I help you?” asks the teenage sales clerk.
“Yes, my name is XXXXXXX, and I am here to pick up my prescription for heart medicine.”
The sales clerk sorts through the bins and finds the prescription.
“That will be $157.00 dollars,” she replies.
“Why is it so expensive?” asks the man. “That makes no sense.”
“Because,” replies the pharmacist who is standing next to the sales clerk, “it is a new calendar year. Your Medicaid has a deductible.”
“What’s a deductible?” asks the man.
“A deductible is what you have to pay before the insurance will pay,” explains the pharmacist.
“I just don’t understand,” says the man. He pulls out a worn wallet and begins laying bills onto the counter. He is short – by a lot. He looks at the sales clerk and says, “I don’t have the money”.
He then shrugs his shoulders, puts his cash back into his wallet, turns, and walks out of the drug store.
The sales girl looks at the pharmacist and asks, “What do I do with his prescription?”
“Put in back into the bin,” answers the pharmacist. “Maybe next month he’ll have the money to pay for it.”
And the sales girl replies, “Yeah, if he is still alive.”