This is an attempt to salvage the thread while obeying Landover Baptist's copyright requests. The original story "Bible Logic Quiz," featured quizzes taken from the Landover Baptist website, a great parody of right-wing Christianity. The quizes have questions such as:
"1. This tyrant hated everyone who was not a white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant heterosexual and attempted to exterminate everyone else, thus resulting in the violent slaughter of millions of people. On his death bed, he sincerely asked Jesus to take over his life.
A. Heaven
B. Hell
Answer 1. This tyrant hated everyone who was not a white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant heterosexual and attempted to exterminate everyone else, thus resulting in the violent slaughter of millions of people. On his death bed, he sincerely asked Jesus to take over his life.
Correct Answer: A (Heaven). No matter how horrendous your pre-salvation conduct, if you accept Jesus and stop sinning, all prior sins are forgiven."
Go check them out on the Landover Baptist website, then pop back here with your comments. Here are the comments from the original post, minus the quizzes themselves:
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Zalmon on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 12:53 PM EST
Actually, the correct answer to all of those questions is: Thank G-d, I am not the judge.
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Grav on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 12:56 PM EST
Well Zalmon, but you do have to judge how you will behave right? How can you behave ''correctly'' so you get your pie-in-the-sky, unless you can make judgements about what is ''right'' or ''wrong'' with your gOd?
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Zalmon on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:25 PM EST
Grav, I enjoy dialoguing with you and I am very interested in hearing more about the experiences in which your beliefs are grounded. I respect the self-disclosure and sharing you have done on iBrattleboro, and I say: G-d Bless you and may you have long life.
Ordinarily I would be happy to give you an honest and heartfelt response to a fair and decent question, albeit a challenging one. But when I see that you have written a mocking variant on the Name; it is clear that your intent, this time at least, was not to explore ideas in respectful discussion; but that your intent was ugly.
In this case, I would be doing you no good; no good to anyone reading these entries; and certainly showing little self-respect were I to take you up on it. Maybe next time…we’ll see. Zalmon
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Grav on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:33 PM EST
Good grief Zalmon, actually I was mocking your reluctance to spell out "THE NAME" - not the myth himself.
I certainly get emotional about an issue, but not about the people with whom I debate an issue. We are all just vehicles for discussion in my opinion, so don't stress.
And anyways, isn't the actual name "Jehovah"?
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Zalmon on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 03:10 PM EST
Interesting that you mock something about which you are ignorant, isn't it?
You ask: "And anyways, isn't the actual name 'Jehovah'?"
You are an ordained minister, aren't you? So where did you get this idea about the name "Jehovah," is that what they taught you in seminary?
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Grav on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 03:27 PM EST
Again - I mocked you. Not your God.
And, I never said I went to seminary, I said "I'm a legally ordained minister" - which is true.
I said I traveled for three years with a Christian evangalist performance group, which is true.
...................
Then there was a post of another quiz from the site, the Creation Science quiz.
..................
Creation Science Quiz
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:36 PM EST
Oh my god... this is so funny! A classic post. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
I'd have to answer "heaven" for all the questions of the original post. It has to do with the writings of George MacDonald, the spiritual mentor to C.S. Lewis, though MacDonald is discredited by many christian groups because he believed that the Good News was ALL of creation would be redeemed. You have to admit, that's way to simple and would eliminate all the sibling rivalry and posturing for the favored birthright position.
Creation Science Quiz
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 03:16 PM EST
That idea is called "universal salvation," isn't it? In Christian thought, isn't it based on the report of Jesus on the cross having asked the Father to "forgive them, they know not what they do." In saying that, Jesus did not say "Forgive them so long as they accept me as their savior and ask for grace," he simply said, "Forgive them." And since Jesus has the keys to Heaven, if he says forgive them who know not what they do, putting no condition on it, not even that they ask for forgiveness, not even saying, only if they repent; then isn't Salvation universal, regardless of what any minister might say?
Creation Science Quiz
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 04:32 PM EST
No. It's based on him healing people and telling them to go home. Period.
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 12:53 PM EST
He heh!
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 12:57 PM EST
It frightens and depresses me that millions of people actually think like this.
Question: A zealous Christian ignores the facts, and condescends to all other religions, resulting in the oppression and ultimate suffering of non-Christians. Heaven or hell?
Answer: Neither......heaven and hell are concrete concepts for those who have a hard time with metaphysics.
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:10 PM EST
Thank you, You said that very well.
I'd only like to emphasize how frightening it is to me that people really do think like this... and Heaven or Hell? I guess what ever it takes to allow some people to live their lives.
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:11 PM EST
Could you define "metaphysics," and, as a person who apparently has more facility in that subject then some other people, could you expound for us...um, er...share some of your thoughts, both lofty and grounded?
Thanks.
Anonymouse
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:50 PM EST
Metaphysics is what you study later in life because you decided not to study classic physics in H.S.. The word, "meta" means "almost." So it's a transition to the real thing. An alternative path with half the work.
It's the same with Organic. If you studied chemistry in H.S., you remember it means the compound contains carbon. Later in life, it's easier to skip chemistry and apply the term to gardening.
Now, if you skipped the course in Critical Reasoning, well... it's easy to believe just about anything.
..............................
Then we had another quiz posted, How God Spots a Christian.
.........................
How God Spots a Christian
Authored by: cgrotke on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:45 PM EST
Aren't a lot of these quiz questions from Landover Baptist's site? We could just link to them, or give them credit.
Here is the Landover Baptist quiz page.
Very funny site, btw.
How God Spots a Christian
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 01:52 PM EST
These posts are getting funnier and funnier....
Copyrights
Authored by: cgrotke on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 02:03 PM EST
Actually, the Landover Baptist site prohibits people from copying and
posting these on other sites. We'll let it go for today since people are
having fun, but will have to delete this thread due to the high level of
copyrighted material. Unless someone wants to go get their permission.
Original writing, folks, please! Or link to other sites if there is something copywrited that you'd like to share.
Copyrights
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 02:04 PM EST
Thanks, Chris...
Copyrights
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 02:49 PM EST
Hello - I thought I recognized those!
Well, the good news is I've posted from Landover before, and as long as its not-for-profit and there is credit and a link to their site - they allow it.
So since the poster didn't do so - if you put a credit an link here, it would fit their requirements.
Copyrights
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 03:50 PM EST
Um... the site says:
"You may, as long as you make no changes of any kind whatsoever, download onto a single computer a single copy of any Materials on the Site for your personal use only. This computer must be your personal computer in your home and you may not make any commercial use of Materials which you download. Should you make any changes to any of the Materials you will be violating The Landover Baptist Church or Americhrist Ltd.'s copyright. Aside from this provision (i.e. the downloading of a single copy) you may not copy, upload, transmit or distribute in any way any Materials contained in the Site, nor may you use them on any network of computers or any other Website. Should you download a single copy of any Materials, you do not own that copy. The copy you download (including the software and its accompanying data and any files) is, rather, licensed to you by The Landover Baptist Church or Americhrist Ltd., which retains all title and rights to the Materials."
Bible Logic Quiz!
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 02:03 PM EST
On a serious note, which is hard after reading all the previous stuff. Is it any wonder we have such a hard time agreeing with science issues, when religious ideas are held as absolute, and devoid of hard analysis. I mean, we desire hard "facts" on how energy is made, yet allow the creation story, and the destiny of billions, to be based on faith. I give up.
The key to the kingdom
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 02:08 PM EST
You must answer the following quesiton correctly. Feel free to substitue the sexist term for a the proper one.
The key to the kingdom can be obtained by:
a)loving your brother
b)loving your brother
c)loving your brother
d)loving your brother
Answer? Careful, it's pretty tricky.
The key to the kingdom
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 03:18 PM EST
That's the best, most succinct, wisest repsonse I've read on this post yet. Thanks.
The key to the kingdom
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, January 11 2004 @ 04:37 PM EST
Well, it's so simple, even a child could understand it. I think I'll take the test again, just to make sure I pass :)