This SATIRE, which I wrote, appeared on the CERJ list on April 3, 2002. A made-up story, it bitingly satirizes the Israeli use of bulldozers in Jenin, in the murder of US activist Rachel Corrie of Olympia, Washington, and elsewhere. Its purpose is to draw attention to the use of armored bulldozers in the commission of war crimes.
Rachel Corrie encountered a culture so aggressive and hostile that she could not have known in advance exactly what she faced. She attempted to stand in the way of the bulldozing of the home of a Palestinian medical professional. Rachel Corrie's most comprehensive memorial web site, operated by a fellow Quaker and friend of mine, Dennis Mills, is at:
http://www.criticalconcern.com/rachelcorrie.html
Another, more funerary, site is at:
http://www.rachelcorrie.org/
-- John Wilmerding
[Warning: People have objected to this satirical material (see below) as offensive.]
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This is a real news article:
"Foreign reports state that Israel transferred to the United States, shortly before the current war in Iraq, giant bulletproof D-9 bulldozers. The IDF uses them in its counter-terrorism war in Judea, Samaria and Gaza in missions such as plowing roadblocking-ditches and clearing paths for tanks. It appears that the Americans will use them in the upcoming battle in Baghdad."
This satirical article (see below) is inspired by the above article from:
http://www.IsraelNationalNews.com
It is not a true account ... its purpose is political criticism.
-- John Wilmerding
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SATIRE:
"Israeli Bulldozers To Be Used In Iraq"
by CERJ Correspondent John Wilmerding
Somewhere in Iraq -- April 5, 2003 -- (CERJ) -- Troops of the 'Coalition of the Ridiculous' were thrilled today to take delivery from Israel today of several 40-ton armored D-9 US-manufactured Caterpillar bulldozers for use in the upcoming 'Battle of Baghdad'.
But as they inspected the vehicles, they noticed that they had been modified since they left the Caterpillar factory in Illinois, and that they were somewhat 'the worse for wear'.
It was not just the 20-odd tons of hardened steel armor that had been added to each machine to protect it from the expected onslaught of the 'terrorists' who were certain to resist the bulldozing of their homes, many times with people still alive inside.
It was not just the added Hebrew characters and legends on the instrumentation -- in fact, those just peeled off to reveal the American English originals.
It was partly the instrumentation itself -- the soldiers were puzzled to find that the Israelis had added infrared heat-seeking viewfinders to the machines, apparently for the purpose of detecting living creatures in the buildings and rubble that they were demolishing.
In addition, several of the bulldozer drivers had apparently carved notches in the dashboards or the steering wheels of their vehicles. In a few cases, silhouettes of human figures in Arab dress had been added to the doors, similar to the practice used by fighter and bomber pilots in previous wars to keep track of the number of their 'kills'. Figures of men, women, and children were thus portrayed, and in one case, there was a picture of a slender young woman in western dress.
The Anglo-US soldiers were dismayed to notice that the Israeli bulldozer operators had left huge messes of liquor bottles and pistachio shells inside. In the case of one machine, the flag of an Israeli soccer team was found still prominently attached to the back.
When they inspected the 10-ton steel blades of the bulldozers, they were dismayed to find blood on each and every one of them. Tatters of Arab clothing were found on several of them as well, and in once case, shreds torn from a day-glo orange jacket were discovered. That colorful remnant was found on the blade of the bulldozer with the picture of the young woman in western dress on the door.
Not wishing themselves to be accused of the horrendous atrocity of bulldozing human beings inside buildings and trenches, the soldiers busied themselves trying to clean the blood from the blades of the machines.
Yet no matter how hard they tried, the blood wouldn't come off. It seemed to be permanently 'embedded' in the blades, permeating the metal itself. It appeared all the while to be fresh, of a vibrant, deep, full red color.
Coalition drivers were dismayed when, once they took the controls of the huge demolition machines, their hands, when they removed them from the steering wheels and control mechanisms, were dripping with fresh, bright red human blood.
The soldiers on site have sent for officer experts to advise them how to deal with these problems. Reports indicate that the summoned officers have asked their superiors to contact the Israelis and ask them to 'clarify' the condition of the bulldozers as delivered. One of the officers has reportedly contacted the Caterpillar Corporation in Illinois, USA, to see if the bulldozer's materials and construction are warranteed against being 'damaged' by human blood.
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"I had a great satisfaction, a great fun ..." -- Moshe Nissim, Israeli reservist and driver of a monstrous armored US-manufactured D-9 bulldozer during the April, 2002 massacre in Jenin, Palestine.