To all those people with those ribbons on their cars that say "support our troops", I must tell you that I am one of the millions of Americans who are opposed to the troops. I have no stance on the war. I am neither for it nor against it. But as far as the troops are concerned, I am vehemently opposed to them.
I have deliberately changed the number of dependants I claim on my job, so that I will owe taxes at the end of the year. Then I won't file a tax return. That way, I will deprive the government of money it might otherwise use to pay the troops.
I have compiled a list of the names and addresses of all the military spouses in the area. I intend to go to their mailboxes on pay day and steal their military pay checks, to deprive their families of financial support.
I have a secret plan to intercept all of the "care packages" being sent over to Iraq for the troops. They will not see those care packages if I can help it.
My opposition to the troops is indiscriminant. I oppose all troops- those in Afghanistan, Iraq, and along the DMZ in Korea. I oppose them regardless of whether they were in favor of or opposed to the Iraq war, and regardless of whether they identify with Democrats or Republicans. I am opposed to all of our troops.
If you are one of the legions and legions of Americans, too numerous to count, who has the same feelings towards our troops as I do, then I urge you to visit www.opposethetroops.com to learn more. Or, if you would like to lend financial support for one of the many projects we have planned, you may send a check to: Oppose the Troops, 124 Jones Street, Smith, Vermont 16849.