By Tyler Van Baker, student at Brattleboro Union High School and member of the Brattleboro Area Community Team
As my girlfriend and I walk toward the stairs to go to lunch, we stop outside a classroom to talk with the group of students crowded around the room’s entrance. These fellow students aren’t just friends they’re positive influences.
Friends have a huge impact on the kinds of choices you make especially in your teenage years. I’ve seen friends that were exactly like me in elementary school, but now are so different. They spend their time smoking pot, drinking to get drunk and partying like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t spend my time this way because I have many friends that have influenced me positively. Instead of asking if I want to smoke or get drunk, they ask if I want to go play a game or swim. These are the friends that I feel so lucky to have.
Growing up with positive influences is a must for someone who wants to be successful in life. Young people need to be supported to make healthy choices. Falling into the wrong crowd can ruin a life. The few times I’ve come close to making some bad choices my parents, as well as my friends, have set me back on the right track.
Being a student at Brattleboro Union High School, I get to hear about all the “cool” parties that happen each weekend, and about how “cool” it was that the cops almost showed up and arrested everyone. Risking arrest, getting drunk, and being extremely tired the next day doesn’t seem that great, but some teens are pressured into these situations by their so called friends.
Teenagers, while we don’t like to admit it, are in a very vulnerable stage of life. I say this because when we were little, everyone got along and no one knew what “speed” and “pot” were. Then, as we entered adolescence, we learned more about drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and other risky behavior and even had opportunities to try these things. The opportunity to get involved with these things has a lot to do with the friends we choose to hang out with because teenagers are more likely to do what their friends are doing. Now, as we end the years of adolescence and enter adulthood our ability to handle the realities of life will be greatly affected by the habits we have created while we were young.
For teens it can be hard to deal with negative peer pressure. Sometimes when a friend asks you to do something you’re not sure if it will lead to getting involved in something risky. Ask questions to find out what you are getting into before you agree to participate. If it ends up that part of the plan is to drink, do drugs or something else you aren’t comfortable with, tell your friend you can’t participate because of the kinds of trouble you could get in (i.e. parent trouble, health trouble, school trouble, etc.). It is also good to suggest different things you could do instead, like going for a bike ride or playing a game. It might be hard to convince some friends to do something different. In those cases leave the situation, but make sure to let your friend know he or she can join you in a different activity any time.
Adults and parents have a responsibility as well in helping teens make good choices and this includes choosing their friends wisely. It is important for parents to set a good example, encourage their kids to do well, stay involved in their kids’ lives and help them build the skills to make positive choices on their own.
So as my girlfriend and I walk down the hall, we walk towards the positive influences in our lives, we walk towards the friends that will help us make healthy decisions and will keep us on the right track for adulthood.
This column, provided by United Way’s Youth Initiative and the Brattleboro Area Community Team, is devoted to giving you information about what young people need and how you can take action to help them grow up healthy and successful. For more information visit our web site and check out resources for adults at www.helpempoweryouth.com/info/resources_adults.html