David Dunn, Have you completely lost your mind? Has the stress of the past few months just tipped you right over the edge?
In your Answer to Complaint of 12/3/2007, what in the world would possess you to state that "During the winter of 2006/07...At that time Ms. Kaufman and plaintiff were living together and were in a relationship."? Is this a fantasy of yours that you feel compelled to share with the world? There isn't the tiniest grain of truth to that statement.
Ms. Mayhew and I have never even slept over each other's houses, much less lived together and been in "a relationship". And what do you mean by relationship? We have been friends since Ms. Mayhew became a volunteer at Rescue, Inc. several years ago. I suppose you could call that a relationship. But if you meant that we were lovers, well, dream on, Mr. Dunn, you and your hand.
Furthermore, Ms. Mayhew is straight (just ask her "paramour"), and it's never been any secret that I am a lesbian. Not to mention, I am twenty-four years older than Ms. Mayhew. If ever I were to have such a young lover, believe me, it wouldn't be a secret!
And speaking of straight, let me address Mr. Spoon Agave's wonderfully patronizing pearls of wisdom:"...be sure you're straight when you're on duty. NO exceptions. NO excuses." Sorry, Mr. Agave, I'm always going to be gay when I'm on duty. NO exceptions. NO excuses.
So there you have it, folks. You just can't make this stuff up. Except, of course, for David Dunn.
- Ronnie Kaufman