Noticing that the greatest amount of development in Brattleboro in the last year were miniature properties, the Brattleboro Selectboard has decide to shift the tax burden from the voters of town to the inhabitants of the miniature properties. Voting along party lines, the measure was approved at their most recent meeting.
“We hereby resolve that property taxes will henceforth be paid only on miniature properties within the Town limits,” read the Clerk before the unanimous vote.
“They’ve been pretty quiet about it so far,” said the board Chair, seeing no one speaking against the ordinance. “In fact, we’ve heard nothing from the town’s miniature citizens, so we must assume they are fine with it.”
“It was fun to switch the way Brattleboro does Town Meeting,” said another board member, ” so we thought people would like to change the way we do taxes this year, too.”
The board didn’t respond the questions about the plastic figurines having no currency.
Human-sized property owners were confused but happy. “Anything to reduce my property taxes,” said one resident.
A small protest erupted at the full-size Pliny Park in support of the miniature residents. Signs included “Figurines are sort of people, too!” and “Keep Your Big Hands Out Of Their Tiny Pockets!”
There will be a full discussion at Open Town Meeting if anyone brings it up during other business.
