Puppies and Pigs

From the Vermont Phoenix, Feb. 21, 1896, comes a story of puppies and pigs.

“Michael L. is a son of Erin’s Isle. His facial expression and his linguistic accomplishments would be convulsive proof before a jury.

Michael is not afraid of trichinosis, and recently bought two infantile porkers in Brattleboro, to be raised on his Vernon farm.

Michael started for home with his pigs, but he stopped at a wayside in in Guilford, presumably to get refreshments. While he was there some fun-loving person released his pigs from the bag and put two small puppies in their place.

When Michael arrived home he descanted to his wife on the charming qualities of his pigs, and opened the bag. Out came the frisky puppies. Michael raved. He knew he bought pigs, but how they came to be puppies was too much for him. Back he started to Brattleboro to settle the question with the marketman.

But he stopped again at the wayside inn. Here the fun-loving person removed the puppies and put back the pigs.

Arriving in Brattleboro Michael at once tackled the marketman with voluble indignation, wanting to know why he had given him puppies for pigs, etc.

The marketman knew not what Michael was talking about, so the latter opened the bag, and out came the pigs.

Michael was completely nonpussed.

“Bedad,” he said, “I don’t want thim brutes that are pigs in Brattleboro and puppies in Vernon.””