‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House,
Our Legislators were stirring and beginning to grouse.
Jonathan Gruber had hung them by the media without care,
Terminating single payer before it goes anywhere.
Governor Shumlin was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of losing in 2016 danced in his head.
With Mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
Were frying our brains on medical Mary Jane crap.
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
It must be our state representatives spouting their ideological blather.
Away from the door I flew like a flash,
Avoiding their Montpelier tax and spend dash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of incompetence to Vermont Health Connect below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But more Section 8 Housing! Oh Dear!
More rapid than Tweets the demands they came,
And they whistled and shouted and called them by name.
“More welfare! More food stamps!”
“Free health care for all!”
“Higher wages! Less work hours!”
“Paid personal days for all!”
“On school system! On town government!”
“On Selectboard! And Representative Meeting too!”
“We need a local income tax to spend for you!”
A livable wage is the latest hue and cry,
Demanding fifty dollars an hour to salt French fries!
And then in a twinkling someone told the truth.
Public school bureaucracy sent property taxes through the roof!
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney the new Town Manager came with a bound!
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his feet,
Because it’s colder in Brattleboro than Palm Beach.
A bundle of experience he had flung on his back,
Too see if he could get the Town back on track.
His normally big smile was drawn down in a bow,
For even his used plane ticket is pay to throw.
He knows why Brattleborrow is a property tax wreck,
For Town Meeting Reps do not understand the cost of debt.
Our infrastructure is failing, what do we do?
Maybe you shouldn’t have told C&S to go screw.
Redistribution to create prosperity will never work,
Which is why Progressives in Vermont are ideological jerks.
What is happening in Brattleboro is truly revealing!
No one can say anything without hurting someone’s feelings!
Feel sorry for me is the new mantra in Town,
As real estate values continue to go down.
And then in a twinkling on that very same day,
Appeared Santa Clause’s accountant who is a CPA!
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He wasn’t chubby or plump, but a fit looking elf,
Who openly discussed Santa’s declining wealth.
“The power to tax is the power to destroy,”
“So children in Vermont won’t be receiving any toys.”
For Santa’s CPA is terrified and unable to relax,
Knowing Vermont will bankrupt Santa with its death tax.
He sprang to his Tesla and gave his mistress a whistle,
Who gunned the engine and ran over the thistle.
But I heard him explain ‘ere they drove out of sight,
“Brattleboro has become a tax and spend fright!”
RLElkins
"Are there no poor houses"
“More Welfare! More food Stamps!
Free Health care for all!
Higher wages! Less work hours!
Paid Personal days for all!”
I’m glad you have the true spirit of giving during the Holidays and most of this was funny especially about Health Care Connect, you did connect!, but you could rather cozy up under your Christmas Tree( Eurocentric) or whatever that infamous Eve or whenever and have a long read of ” Living Hand to Mouth Living in Boot Strap America by Linda Tirado, maybe you could arouse the looming spirits who had once visited Scrooge on his fateful day of awakening/reckoning ( “are there no poorhouses”) of the cast out with an unpredictable reliant need and let reality flow into your life with newborn perspective free of such misconceptions that air from more fortunates who still believe it is an underground conspiracy of those who feel compelled to take advantage of our government by choosing to be poor when more often than not it is an unfortunate series of sudden circumstances unexpectedly they arrive at or undesirable influences people are dictated by that leave us unfortunate.
Our Master Plan to Be In Poverty
I guess we should fess up, rootrunner. He figured out our master plan. We have been scheming to be poor, especially for the holidays – it’s such a great way to live and everything is free. If only there was a way to be down on our luck…
But no matter how hard we try, we keep ending up as multibillionaires with large portfolios and thousands of workers to exploit!
Drat!
We’ll figure it out, I’m sure. : )
I, myself, made a very
I, myself, made a very detailed plan a few years ago to be poor.I threw in a couple of long term debilitating illnesses to ensure that I would have to stick to the plan and, you know?….so far so good! I struggle to pay my bills each month- have mastered the art of juggling those bills; I don’t travel any longer or go out to expensive restaurants; I make healthy but somewhat inexpensive meals and only buy clothes every couple of years or so. So..yeah…I feel pretty awesome that I have been able to achieve a pretty consistent level of poverty.
I think if you just try a little harder, Chris, you may also be able to achieve this admirable goal as well….
Well like the well to do we
Well like the well to do we both have in common the great past time of counting, then recounting our pennies as every one counts or has to be accounted for, only mine aren’t as numerous, shiny or profitable. ” Are there no debtors prisons?” No sorry our prisons are full, back out onto the street to fend for themselves after short stint at rehab from all the numbing going around”
Congratulations Chris on the recent organ donation at museum I read today, now these guys can blow their pipes out and make some more incredible music!