A Presidential Candidate – Chris Christie

by cgrotke | Politics | 1822 Views

Chris Christie has the idea that it is his turn to become president of the United States.

“America is tired of hand-wringing, of indecisiveness … in the Oval Office. And that is why, today, I am proud to announce my candidacy.”

Comments | 5

  • Submitted by cgrotke on June 30, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Credentials

    He stopped a fake terror plot. And knows something about bridges, I believe.

    • Submitted by Lise on June 30, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      I'm surprised he's still governor at this point...

      Then again, he probably has great name recognition after all those months of bridge gate…

    • Submitted by spinoza on June 30, 2015 at 10:06 pm

      those elusive intangibles

      It’s notable this latest candidate has, among his other qualifications, a near identical first and last name. To my knowledge nobody has previously leveraged such a fact into presidential victory. To level the field, I’ve taken the liberty of re-naming others in the race in like manner.

      A dilemma is faced as to which of the names are duplicated, surname or given name. I’ve tried to resolve this in the most alliterative, catchy fashion, with an eye towards increasing electability. 

      Rand Randy
      Cruz Cruzy
      Trump Trumpy
      Rick Rickie
      Santo Santorum
      Jeb Jebbie
      Rube Rubio
      Jind Jindal
      Dr. Ben Bennie
      Pat Pataki
      Huck Huckabee
      Fio Fiorina
      Graham Grahammie

      —

      Hill Hillary
      Sand Sanders
      Marty O’Marty

      • Submitted by cgrotke on July 1, 2015 at 6:49 am

        Jebify

        To Jebify their names, take their initials and turn that into their first name:

        HRC Clinton
        RHP Paul
        DJT Trump
        REC Cruz
        MAR Rubio
        RJS Santorum
        GEP Pataki
        CCF Fiorina
        MDH Huckabee

        My favorites, though:

        LOG Graham
        PBJ Jindal

        and of course,

        BS Sanders

  • Submitted by cgrotke on February 10, 2016 at 9:09 am

    Deep breaths

    Christie has announced he is taking a “deep breath.” For America, one assumes.

    The rumors are that his campaign is being suspended.

Leave a Reply