New York, NY — Friday, March 18, 2016 — (SAP: Satirical Amalgamated Press) — Hillary Clinton has announced that she is planning to leave the Democratic Party and join the Republicans.

Faced with the ascendancy of the junior Senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders, Clinton explained in an interview today that she feels her chances of being nominated her party’s candidate for the presidency will be better among the Republicans.

I was greatly criticized by friends of Jane Sanders for commenting on Facebook that she should improve her wardrobe and leave the “hippy” dresses behind here in Vermont. What incentive would help her to decide to make her wardrobe more upscale? After all, she is the wife of a U.S. Senator; but does her appearance look like a “First Lady”?

What Does Jane “Win” If Her Husband, Bernie Sanders, Wins The Election For President?

For starters, Jane “wins” the First Lady’s Office in the White House!

Curly Haugland, a Republican National Committee member, says the nomination process is pretty straightforward: The party, not the voters, chooses the nominee.In an appearance on CNBC’s “Squawk Box” on Wednesday morning, Haugland, a North Dakotan and current member of the RNC’s Rules Committee, said that any assumption otherwise is misguided.

“That’s the problem: The media has created the perception that the voters will decide the nomination,” he said. He went on: “Political parties choose their nominee, not the general public, contrary to popular belief.”

Technically, this is true. The nomination is decided by delegates to this summer’s convention, not directly by voters. But it’s probably not a terribly helpful argument to make at a time when Republican establishment types are openly talking about wresting the GOP nomination from Donald Trump at the convention. Trump has said doing so could lead to “riots.”

In order to comply with the Open Meeting Law, this warning is being submitted in anticipation of the BCA’s decision today to proceed with a recount of the March 1 vote. If the recount request is denied or another date and time is chosen, this meeting will be cancelled and another scheduled.

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BRATTLEBORO BOARD OF CIVIL AUTHORITY
Selectboard Meeting Room
Thursday, March 17, 2016
10:30 AM

Very early in his campaign, around the time he declared it back in mid-May, I wrote to Bernie and said “Avalanches don’t only start with a thunderclap or a gunshot … sometimes they start with a little tiny snowball that starts to form at the very top of the mountain.”The Bernie Sanders avalanche is about halfway down the mountain now, and the few little snowballs, which became many, are just starting to morph into a tremendous cascade.

The post-March-15 primary season will see the American people either part of this avalanche, or else they will see it coming. It will sweep up all in its path. Bernie Sanders and his supporters are a force of nature, and nothing will deny us or defeat us!