While We Still Have One
Let’s say Trump is elected and his first meeting with Kim Jong-un goes terribly wrong. The belligerence on both sides reach unprecedented levels. The kid, feeling threatened, decides to lob an ICBM over the polar icecap towards Manhattan, but misses. Instead, it accidentally explodes over downtown Brattleboro during the school year just after lunch recess. In March 2013, the boastful “Supreme Leader” threatened the United States with a preemptive nuclear attack. He is known to have tested a 10 kiloton nuclear weapon to “reliably defend the sovereignty and the dignity of the nation.”
If you’re a student anywhere within the full five-mile radius of a 10 kiloton air burst, you probably won’t be needing your school books anymore.


